{"id":41700,"date":"2026-09-30T09:29:02","date_gmt":"2026-09-30T14:29:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev.ancestrina.com\/?p=41700"},"modified":"2026-09-30T09:29:02","modified_gmt":"2026-09-30T14:29:02","slug":"first-couples-therapy-session","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dev.ancestrina.com\/en\/first-couples-therapy-session\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Expect in a First Couples Therapy Session"},"content":{"rendered":"

By V\u00edctor Silva and Marcela G\u00f3mez<\/em><\/p>\n

What worries you most about a first session may not be which question the therapist will ask, but how to explain what is happening without ending up defending your version. Or whether you will have to decide immediately what you want to do with the relationship.<\/p>\n

In Ancestrina\u2019s online couples process, the first session is individual with one partner and the second with the other<\/strong>. Six sessions with both partners follow. There are eight sessions of approximately one hour, accompanied by the same therapist. The beginning helps clarify what each person wants to work on; the process seeks clarity without assuming an obligation to preserve the relationship.<\/p>\n

Who accompanies you and how the beginning is organized<\/h2>\n

The online process is accompanied by V\u00edctor Silva or Marcela G\u00f3mez<\/strong>. You can choose your therapist; if you have no preference, one can be assigned according to availability. The person who begins with you accompanies you throughout the process: V\u00edctor and Marcela do not alternate between sessions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Session<\/th>\nWho participates<\/th>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n
1<\/td>\nOne partner individually with the therapist.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
2<\/td>\nThe other partner individually with the same therapist.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
3\u20138<\/td>\nBoth partners with that therapist.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

The two individual interviews form part of the couples process. They allow the therapist to learn about each person\u2019s experience before working together. This differs from one person beginning individual therapy while their partner does not wish to participate.<\/p>\n

The current format is a process of eight sessions of approximately one hour each. That number describes the service\u2019s organization; it does not guarantee reaching a decision or producing a particular change within that time.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to fix my relationship\u201d is a starting point<\/h2>\n

The first interview does not simply accept that phrase as though it already defined what needs to happen. \u201cFixing\u201d may mean trusting again, no longer arguing in a particular way, understanding a distance, or getting the other person to want something they do not want today.<\/p>\n

The initial work involves developing a more specific reason for consulting with you. You explore the context, what is happening, how you understand it, and what the issue you want to work on means in concrete terms. You also explore what needs clarification before assuming both people are asking for the same thing.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe always end up fighting\u201d opens several questions: What happens when you try to talk? Which issue remains unresolved? What have you tried? What would you like to be different? These are examples of how a broad expression can become closer to a recognizable situation. They are not a fixed questionnaire you need to prepare.<\/p>\n

The other person also develops what they want to work on and how they describe the problem. Both may speak of \u201cdistance,\u201d but one means a lack of contact while the other means that every important conversation ends in reproaches. Understanding that difference avoids organizing the process around an agreement that only appears to exist.<\/p>\n

You do not need to arrive with a prepared defense<\/h2>\n

It may help to organize what brings you now, what you have tried together, and what you hope for from the space. \u201cAfter what happened, I do not know whether I want to continue\u201d or \u201cwe organize our lives well, but I feel distant\u201d lets you begin close to the problem without having the whole story resolved.<\/p>\n

Your partner may describe it differently. You do not need to manufacture a single shared account before beginning. Differences between accounts are part of what needs to be understood, although they do not by themselves establish that someone is lying or that both people are equally responsible for what happened.<\/p>\n

If there was a lie or a broken agreement, observing the interaction does not erase who carried out that behavior. Ancestrina distinguishes participation from culpability: examining how each person participates does not mean dividing all responsibility equally.<\/p>\n

The goal is clarity, even if you do not yet know whether you want to stay<\/h2>\n

The process seeks to help you see what is separating you, how each person participates, which differences exist, and what possibilities you have. \u201cSaving the relationship\u201d may be someone\u2019s wish when they arrive; it is not the result the therapist assumes they must produce.<\/p>\n

You can say, \u201cI want to understand what is happening, but I cannot promise that I want to continue.\u201d Ancestrina works with couples where one person has doubts, both have doubts, or their goals differ. It also works with couples who have already decided to separate.<\/p>\n

That clarity may lead to reconnecting, continuing differently, separating, or confirming a decision. V\u00edctor or Marcela does not choose which outcome is right for you. Nor can a first session guarantee that you will already know what to do.<\/p>\n

Confidentiality and conditions for participation<\/h2>\n

Before sharing sensitive information, confidentiality conditions and the handling of information disclosed individually need to be clarified within the therapeutic agreement. This includes how separate communications will be handled in a process that later brings both people together.<\/p>\n

Both people need to want to participate. Attending only to please your partner, without willingness to examine something of your own, is not the kind of participation Ancestrina seeks. That willingness can exist even when you have doubts about continuing the relationship.<\/p>\n

If there is violence, threats, coercion, or fear of speaking freely, safety requires specific assessment. Some situations may need another format or specialist care. The general clinical guidance is to seek safe support without treating risk as a simple communication difficulty.<\/p>\n

It also helps to clarify schedules, fees, payment terms, and cancellation conditions before confirming the process. Knowing the practical conditions is part of deciding whether you can and want to participate.<\/p>\n

After the individual interviews<\/h2>\n

From the third session onward, you work together with the same therapist. The starting point is the reasons each person needs to clarify, the differences that emerge, and what can be addressed jointly.<\/p>\n

A shared format does not turn attendance into a promise to rebuild. Taking the process seriously means participating in what is being examined without using the therapist to obtain a predetermined response from the other person.<\/p>\n

What if you are looking for in-person support?<\/h3>\n

Ancestrina\u2019s in-person modality is an immersive process running from one day into the next. V\u00edctor and Marcela participate together in the couples intensive. This is a different format from the online process described here; Ancestrina does not currently offer an ordinary series of in-person sessions equivalent to the online process.<\/p>\n

If you want to consider the online process, you can explain from your first contact what brings you, who wants to participate, and whether you have a preference for either therapist. You do not need to promise an outcome to begin clarifying the help you seek. You can consult the couples therapy service and its current conditions<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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Sources and scope of the information<\/h2>\n